For a lot of people the word “compassion” doesn’t really have a ring to it. “Be more compassionate” people say. That’s easy to say, but in real life it can be challenging in certain ways.
Yes, you can be compassionate with someone who is hurt, someone who has little or someone who experiences adversity.
But there are also other times to be compassionate when a person is hurting YOUR feelings, when someone is denigrating YOU, when someone is yelling at YOU, when someone is pushing YOUR buttons, and instead of feeling frustration, anger or resentment, you can actually feel true compassion towards that person.
That seems one of the hardest things there is, doesn’t it? Well maybe…
You have to REALIZE this person is in a temporarily poor mental condition, and has a hard time overcoming the storm of emotions he is dealing with. And she always speaks or acts from a place of suffering. If you clearly try to see this you can feel empathy for this person. To be truly compassionate will instantly heal all of your own negative emotions.
There is one prerequisite though to feel compassion in the heat of a moment. You’ve got to be aware or conscious. The combination of awareness and compassion is the way to set yourself and others free.
To be able to feel compassion for the person who is verbally attacking you, you have to create space and take a step back from the turbulence that is overwhelming you. Not in a physical way, but in your mind. Learn to PAUSE. Hold back from responding right away. Pause for at least 30 to 60 seconds.
Let your mind calm down from your first innate response. Be still, create distance in your mind, and then sincerely try to feel compassion towards that person, (may it be your boss, spouse, kid, friend, or relative).
Know that he is hostage of his own thoughts, feelings and emotions, and she is lacking any awareness and capability to free herself from that. Mind this and you will be able to remain peaceful, loving and kind whatever someone throws at you.
Now let’s practice this. From today on let’s start building your compassion muscle. Practice it consistently. When you feel tension it’s your sign to become aware of what is happening, and what you have to do to remain in a calm, peaceful and compassionate state.
You can also build your compassion muscle even stronger with compassion meditation.
This way your compassion muscle will grow, expand, and become a virtue for life. A beneficial gift for you and those around you.
Compassion heals you and others. You can be the one who reliefs the suffering, and helps bringing back the joy.
Be careful though, it’s very contagious 😉
Thanks Klaus I needed this, you arrived at the right time.
Thanks for reminding me
this is really helpful
Klaus Crow says
Hi Marlene and Patrick,
To quote Mahatma Gandhi…
“Compassion is a muscle that gets stronger with use”
Steffanie Williams says
Would you email me what I need to do to receive permission to use a quote from your site in my Homeschooling book? Thank you.
Tracy Lorraine Raven says
Klaus your writing speaks to me on another level ! There is such a saturation of self help advice out there these days but something resonates with your words.. wow !! Just discovered you today and can’t wait to read more , Thank you ❤
Klaus Crow says
Thank you for the kind words.
I’m going back to writing for SimplfiyYourDay really soon.
I’m now brainstorming how to schedule writing into my weekly habits.
Talk to you soon.